Can I still have a fun, normal life without booze? Starting a year without alcohol.
On my 30th birthday - I decided to stop drinking alcohol for a year. That sounds like there was an amazing party, where I got so wasted that the morning after I declared “I’m NEVER drinking again.” It wouldn’t be the first time. What prompted me was something else.
It was a very gradual idea that built itself up over several months of feeling unsatisfied after having drunk alcohol. What happened to the nights where wildness ensues; fun prevails and we all feel a little burden loosen off? Lately, drinking alcohol has only made me feel:
Dizzy
Bloated
Grumpy
Tired
The annoying part is that some of these continue throughout the entire next day, too.
Perhaps it’s an age thing.
My partner thinks I’m sensitive. She may be right. I have a theory which explains why I can feel noticeably worse the next day even after a single beer. My theory is that I sleep so good when I haven’t drunk anything – that when I do drink the difference is big enough that I can notice it. It’s not that I can’t wake up or I’m hungover.
I just feel a lack of joy and energy that I normally have.
An expectation of increased wellbeing should be enough to convince me to start this experiment. It wasn’t. There is a second component.
I started realising there are people out there who don’t drink.
You won’t win any pub quizzes for knowing that there are people in the world who don’t drink. As I’m writing this I realise I know some of these people. One of my first girlfriends couldn’t drink because of her liver. Another friend of mine is Muslim so he doesn’t drink as part of his religion. These are the realities they live in.
Imagine it’s a sunny day or there’s a BBQ or we’re at the beach. A friend passes you a cold one. What could you possibly have as an excuse for not drinking? It’s too easy to forget the realities that there are people living perfectly normal lives – without drinking alcohol.
Could you say no to a drink from this man?
We don’t see the choice exists because our (Western) culture encourages drinking. Partying is fun. If you like to party you’re cool. And especially for men, if you can handle partying a lot – then you’re a real man. A real man that can take so much damage and still walk away unscathed. That’s something to be admired and valued.
Now, I don’t want to make assumptions about you dear reader, but after reading that last line I’m sure something within you winced. Which is to say you know, there’s probably more important things. I know it too, yet I’m guilty of having these values. Usually the morning after when I’m describing last nights debauchery to a friend; the amount of alcohol consumed starts being listed like some kind of recipe for jet fuel.
Sometimes we don’t even make it ‘til the end.
We’ve inherited this mindset from the grown ups we were around just like they did when they were children. I’ve lived in three countries where alcohol is a big thing. I’m going to paint you a picture of what would happen when you sit down at table in each of those and say you didn’t want to drink alcohol.
Bulgaria: “Is something wrong? Are you sick? Have we upset you? C’mon just have a little to say ‘Cheers’ with us.”
England: “Are you not one of us? You’re letting the team down. You’re a not a man.”
Germany: “Why? It’s healthy to drink.”
To be clear, I don’t have anything against alcohol or people who drink it. I’ve had amazing nights out where I bonded with close friends and made memories that we will always remember fondly. It’s also a social lubricant. It’s easy to let go a little of our seriousness and be genuine and friendly after a few pints. As for health benefits, most people are sensible with their consumption and we’re told red wine might even be good for you in small doses. I’ve never had a problem with booze and I drink quite casually (as opposed to for sport – but don’t get me wrong I’ve been there too).
I feel that in a way, maybe I’ve outgrown alcohol. I certainly reached a point where I want to experiment to see what life could be like without it.
Once we become old enough to buy booze (yeah right) and start drinking we continue to because everyone else is. We don’t question stopping. We don’t consciously question “Is this still serving me?”
In Singapore the culture is that people go out for dinner instead for drinking. However, this was not one of those times.
What led me to start this experiment?
In the last few months I encountered enough people who don’t drink and my reality started changing. My 30th birthday was coming up and I was inspired by a story. Apparently the FIRST time my dad ever got drunk, was when he was 30 (he was also 30 when I was born – make your own conclusions).
Therefore in kind of a one-third-of-a-life crisis – I find it romantic that when I turn 30 – will be the LAST time I drink. At least for a year…
What might happen
Expected positive benefits of giving up alcohol:
For one I think my sleep will improve.
I’ve also noticed a negative correlation between intoxication and how deeply I can meditate, so perhaps I will be a Buddha by next year.
Could there be any negatives of giving up alcohol?
In order from most scary to least scary for me are:
I fear being unable to relate to my friends who drink. We always have a proper drink when I visit my oldest friends in England.
I fear turning into a very uncool, never-going-out kind of person, who hasn’t made any new friends in a year.
I fear missing out on too many relaxing sunny moments with a friend and a beer.
I will be posting regular updates of my experience. It would be great for me to keep sharing the journey with you.
— Martin
Over to you!
What outcome do you think is most likely? Why are there so few people who don’t drink? How can we still enjoy ourselves without alcohol? I would love to know your thoughts!